The Legend-News

Monday, 2000 February 28 : Volume 3, Number 8

Convoy 2000
99 days until Convoy 2K
99 days until then
Grab your mics and break one-nine
99 days 'til truckin' begins

(Yes, you're supposed to sing that to the tune of "99 Bottles Of Beer".)

Disclaimer: Convoy 2000 is in no way associated with Windows® 2000, which is a product of Microsoft Corporation. The major differences between these two ideas is (1) Windows 2000 is not an automotive vehicle operating system, and (2) Convoy 2000 will crash less often. On the other hand, Convoy 2000 may smash into more than 63,000 bugs.

Surfin' With The Rubber Duck
By the dark of the moon...

Moon Gardening. Should you plant?
Henry County Web - ALMANAC. Or should you pull?
Famous Bodega Potatoes. Plant.
Web J-Card - Woody Guthrie's Belle Starr. There's a bad moon a-risin' for Jim Reed.
From The Broom Closet. Could it be... Hecate?
Updates. An interesting change.
Weeks Anti-Aging Clinic - HGH - PRO - hGH. I'll bet that King Oscar ate a lot of carrots.
Lyrics to "Wildfire". Plant. Definitely plant.
Fractal Beta Bottom Frame. Practice makes perfect.
Tori Amos' 'To Venus And Back' haunting, fairy-like album. The dark of the moon. Is there anything it can't do?

18 Wheels Of Justice
Maybe you've been watching this series on TNN, about a former lawman in the Witness Protection Program who's hiding out as a long-haul trucker. Although the plots are pretty simple, surprising events do occur: for example, in this week's episode, Chance Bowman (our hero) almost manages to deliver a load to its destination! I said 'almost', because it got hijacked, of course.

The show is mind candy, sure, but it's not nearly as stupid as Who Wants To Be A Married Multi-Millionaire? or whatever passes as a 'Number One' television show these days.

And if you didn't know -- probably because you didn't read the opening credits -- this show is based on the book 18 Wheels Of Justice by Ray 'Tex' Brown. The show is named after the book, the protagonist in both drives a truck, and he has a connection to the law enforcement community. Other than that, the television series has absolutely nothing to do with the book. Although the book probably won't win any awards for writing, it is entertaining. If you've got five bucks lying around, get the paperback at Amazon.com.

Song A’ Th’ Week
It's Leftover Truck Songs Month at the Legend-News!

This is the last of the C.W. truck songs. I've never driven a big rig -- it's not one of the prerequisites for being a computer geek -- but I have driven some of the most unexciting roads in the U.S. of A. For example, Interstate 80 across Indiana. On the western end, there are long, tedious traffic jams; and everything east of there is flat, brown, and boring. And that's during the summer! During the winter, it's flat, white and brown and boring.

Long Lonesome Road

(C.W. McCall, Bill Fries, Chip Davis)
From the album Black Bear Road

Well, it's a long, lonesome road
Through the lifetime of a trucker
But me and my good ol' friend here
We gonna make it

It's a long-haulin' road
And the load of life is heavy
But me an' this good ol' truck
We gonna take it

Through the wind an' rain an' thunder
'Til the stormy skies are blue
An' the sunrise lights the highway
Headin' home

Well, it's a long lonesome road
Through the lifetime of a trucker
But me and this here ol' truck
We gonna make it

Well, it's a long lonesome road
And the miles of life are many
But me an' these eighteen wheels
We gonna take it

It's a long way to go
And the road ahead is troubled
But this ol' rig and me
We gonna make it

Through the wind an' rain an' thunder
'Til the stormy skies are blue
An' the sunrise lights the highway
Headin' home

It's long lonesome road
Through the lifetime of a trucker
But this ol' truck and me
We gonna make it

Yeah, me and this good ol' friend
We gonna make it