The Legend-News

Monday, 2000 May 22 : Volume 3, Number 19

Movie Alert! Movie Alert!

TBS Superstation will be broadcasting the motion picture "Convoy" this coming Tuesday, 23 May, from 2:00 to 4:05 PM. If you don't have a blank videotape around, buy one now! If you don't have a VCR, well, skip getting the tape. :)

Convoy 2000 Countdown

Only 15 days until Convoy 2000! Okay, 16 if you're reading this on Sunday night. (Nitpickers :)

Here at McCall Central — a.k.a. the second house on the left on Ojibwa Drive — I'm washing the travel clothes and getting the maps marked for the journey. Since I'll be travelling on the full route, as will T A Chafin, that means that I've first got to get to L.A. before I can start back, so this vacation is going to be two weeks long. I've already warned the day job that retraining will be necessary upon my return.

Updates to my web site will be sporatic, if I manage any at all. However, the Convoy 2000 Information Page will be updated this week with a list of the hotels and motels at which we (T A and I) will be staying along the route. And during the five-day journey, T A will be uploading pictures on every day. Let's hope that T A doesn't exceed his storage space at AOL.

Convoy 2000 T-shirt And speaking of T A, he still has some Convoy 2000 t-shirts available. Better get one or two or three now, because once the Smithsonian Institution asks for one to place in the Museum of American History, he'll be raising the price!

Send check or money order for $11.95 each, plus $2.00 shipping (for up to five shirts) to

T A Chafin
4753A Westland Blvd
Arbutus, MD 21227-1332

More details can be found on the Convoy 2000 "What's Available" Page.

Vote Early, Vote Often

On the Other Wild Places mailing list, about a week back, I brought up the subject of mondegreens, those misheard lyrics like "'cuse me, while I kiss this guy", "there's a bathroom on the right", and just about every word in the Kingsmen's cover of "Louie, Louie".

I've misheard a few lyrics in my time; just check the lyrics to the C.W. songs, and you'll see a few examples where I don't or didn't understand exactly what C.W. is singing about. The most glaring error, as most Crispy Critters know, is the name of that other trucker in "Convoy". Is his name "Big Ben" or "Pig Pen"? Fortunately, the inside cover of the Black Bear Road LP has printed lyrics, and according to those lyrics the name is "Pig Pen".

But none of the other albums have lyric sheets, so occasionally errors do occur. Right now, we've been debating the type of rooster that was present on C.W. and Earl's flatbed in "Wolf Creek Pass". As I originally transcribed the words, I wrote

Well, we roared up offa that shoulder sprayin' pine cones, rocks, and boulders, and put four hundred head of them Rhode Island reds and a couple'a Bird Isle roosters on the line. Look out below; 'cause here we go!

I've never been satisfied with "Bird Isle". I've looked and looked, but I can't find a single reference to a "Bird Isle rooster". So I've been listening some more, and my best guess is that the term is "fertile roosters", pronounced like "fer-TILE". But my term doesn't seem to be the most popular, as most of the comments that I've received tell me that the word is "burnt-out". Maybe my hearing is degrading faster than I thought.

So, I'm taking a vote. The rules are simple: (1) Listen to "Wolf Creek Pass", preferably the original version. You can also use the one on The Real McCall: An American Storyteller if you want. (2) Listen really hard to the phrase "...and a couple a' [?] roosters...". (3) Send your guess of what the [?] is to Get your entry in by Friday, and I'll publish the results in the next edition of The Legend-News. Whatever the majority votes for will become the "official" word in the song, at least until Bill Fries can correct us.

Song A’ Th’ Week

Too often, the image of rural law enforcement is a negative one. Typically, the "red neck" sheriff terrorizes innocent tourists who happen to travel through his scenic county. That image may have some truth, but the majority of county policemen are hard-working people who strive to keep the peace and uphold the law.

Lewis and Clark
(C.W. McCall, Bill Fries, Chip Davis)
From the album Black Bear Road

Now Arnold Jones an' MaryBeth Jensen's in a 'Vette down by the Deep Rock
Had John Denver on the 8-track, gettin' high
MaryBeth's wig was on the floor
An' Arnold's feet was out the door
When we shined our flashlight in Arnold's startled eyes
I says "What chew doin' boy?
Don't chew know that's against the law?
We just gonna hafta get this situation under control
Now my name is Fairweather Lewis an' this here's Willard Clark
We the Pottawattamie County Love Patrol."

Then two hippies in a Chevy's puffin' grass an' sippin' wine
'Bout fourteen mile south-east a' Council Bluffs
They's passin' 'round the peace-pipe
When we caught 'em with our flashlight
An' Willard's hairy hands applied the cuffs.
I says, "Boys you got some trouble
You committin' herb-i-cide.
We just gonna hafta get this situation under control
'Cause I'm Fairweather Lewis, an' this here's Willard Clark
We the Pottawattamie County Weed Patrol."

Then we spied ol' Marvin Kline a-headin' south on twenty-nine
Like a midnight auto ac-cessory store on wheels
His trunk was full a' hub caps
An' his back seat full a' tires
When we picked him up and made him spread his heels
I says, "Hands up-on the wall, boy
You allowed t' make one call
We just gonna hafta get this situation under control
Cause, see, I'm Fairweather Lewis, an' this here's Willard Clark
We the Pottawattamie County Rip-off Patrol."

Then Orval Hinkle left the Go-Go Club on his brand-new motor-sickle
Runnin' stop-lights, raisin' hell an' causin' accidents
His brain was doin' wheelies
An' his blood was three-two beer
When we nailed him in his driveway at his residence
I says, "Orval, you're in trouble boy
But if you'll blow this here balloon up
We gonna get your situation under control
Now I'm Captain Fairweather Lewis an' this here's Willard Clark
We the Pottawattamie County Juice Patrol."

Then we's passin' by the Dew Drop Inn when he heard this woman scream
So we pulled on in an' parked an' got the guns out
Well we bashed on through the lobby into unit seventeen
There's twenty-eight folks in there without no clothes on.
I says "Everbody up against the wall; show us yer identification.
We just gonna definitely get this situation under control
'Cause my name is Fairweather Lewis, an' this here's Willard Clark
We the Pottawattamie County Sin Patrol."

C'mon, Willard, let's go sneakin' 'round in the dark some more, never know what yer gonna find.