The Legend-News

Monday, 2000 December 4 : Volume 3, Number 43

What We Got Here

Why Johnny Gets Lost in Don't Know Much About Geography; C.W. trivia in But A Bit About History; Bill Fries answers the questions in Re: McCall; a C.W. Sighting; plan your vacation By The Dark Of The Moon; and westward expansion rears its ugly head in the Song A’ Th’ Week, "Glenwood Canyon".

Don't Know Much About Geography

I've been sorting through the several dozen boxes of stuff that are stacked down in the furnance room, and I found some old cassette tapes of stuff that I taped off the television back in the early '70s. One of the tapes was that of the Burns & Schreiber Comedy Hour, a summer replacement series in 1973. And over the end credits a voice announced new shows for the upcoming fall season, including "…and James Franciscus as Doc Elliot, the only doctor in a million square miles of Colorado wilderness." But according to the National Geographic Atlas of North America from 1985, the total area of Colorado is only 104091 square miles (269594 square kilometers).

More evidence that television contributes to the dumbing of America.

But A Bit About History

18 wheels and a chaperone A while back — in the 16 October 2000 issue, to be precise — I published a picture of a "free ticket to the drive-in theater in Pisgah" which was given away by the F.E. Miller store in Pisgah. David Cunningham gave me some further information:

"The F.E. Miller store is where C.W. bought Mavis her engagement ring. Spent 98 dollars of his 100 dollar paycheck."

Thanks, David. Now I wonder where they spent their honeymoon?

Re: McCall

Got a question for Bill? Send it to

Q. Chris Doyle asks: I was wondering what in the world was the meaning of "We'll put on our fish costumes, pass out the Vaseline and an extra ration of rum for the men," from the movie version of Convoy?

A. Chris, I did not write the screenplay for the movie. Therefore, I, like you, have absolutely no idea what the phrase means. — Bill

Q. Also, you mentioned going south, I assume for the winter. Any chance on that being a Florida trip? I'd love to meet ya!

A. Not Florida. No way. We'll be in Arizona. — Bill

Q. Reggie Edwards from Boise, Idaho, says "Your description of the "Aurora Borealis" is right on! Just wonderin' if you ever did see in person the "Aurora Borealis" over the Bitterroot mountains of Montana?? I've lived in southwestern Idaho all my life (43 years) and only once have I ever seen the "northern lights" this far south. (I was actually in the central Idaho Wilderness on a fishing trip when we saw them… and we were lying in our sleeping bags watching the colors "leaping and dancing") I cannot verbalize or write how beautiful and awe-inspiring of an event it was!

I "Thank You" for the music that reminds me to look up at the stars and ponder for a moment…It keeps me humble and instills a reverence of how insignificant we really are compared to the magnitude and greatness of God's universe.

P.S. If you ever come to visit Idaho, you're welcome at my home any time.

A. We have seen the Aurora twice…in the sixties on the Lolo Trail In Idaho and on the Idaho/Montana border. And, I saw it faintly on the flank of Uncompahgre Peak in Colorado in the seventies! Thanks, Reggie for your thoughts about the universe. I agree. — Bill

Q. Ed "Space Cadet" Floden asks: "Do you have a favorite charity? (This information could be useful. :)"

A. Ed, my favorite charity has suddenly become… The Boy Scouts of America. — Bill

A note from Ed.: The usefulness of that last answer will become apparent later this month, as soon as I work out the details.

C.W. Sighting

From Alan "Skywalker" Chafin, our man in Baltimore:

WTOP Radio in Washington DC, when reporting on the two shipments of votes being delivered to Talahassee in Florida, always opened their story with a stanza or two from, what else, "Convoy". Wonder if Bill got anything out of that?

By The Dark Of The Moon

…on the 6th of June, of course. Also from Alan, comes this warning:

Convoy 2005 is already in the works. Pass the word.

Coincidentally, according to the U.S. Naval Observatory, the New Moon of June 2005 will occur on the 6th, at 21:55 UTC (17:55 EDT).

(A note to B.N.: we're pretty sure we won't be spending half a day in Gallup, this time.)

Song A’ Th’ Week

A truism of life: no matter where you move, eventually civilization will find you.

Glenwood Canyon
(Bill Fries, Chip Davis)
From the album Wolf Creek Pass

Hanging Lake in Glenwood Canyon This is a song about rivers, and a canyon where I like to go while I still have the time.

When rivers ran blue up on the mountain
And rivers ran green out on the plain
When the river ran red in Glenwood Canyon
It was only a matter of time

Then rivers ran gold up on the mountain
And rivers ran wild out on the plain
And the river ran free through Glenwood Canyon
And it was only a matter of time

And the miners came and they took the gold and the people staked a claim
And the builders came and they made a dam and the people came to play
And the 'dozers came and they built a road and the people found a way
Through Glenwood Canyon

Now rivers run grey up on the mountain
And rivers brown out on the plain
And the river runs red through Glenwood Canyon
But it's only a matter of time

"Glenwood Canyon" was rerecorded for the album The Real McCall: An American Storyteller, which may still be available from American Gramaphone (See the Emporium).

The Legend-News is Copyright 2000 TechRen Enterprises. Don't blame us, we voted for McGovern. Thanks to Bill Fries and Chip Davis for the words and music.