The Legend-News

Monday, 2001 January 1 : Volume 4, Number 1

What We Got Here

C.W. down under in Nothin' Down There But Tasmanian Devils And Them Q-Alla Bears?; a possible C.W. homage from some Canadians that are Definitely Not Go-Go Girls; Elite Critters get the best booty; the list of Critters grows in Critter Capades; and if you care, the Song A’ Th’ Week is 'I Don't Know (And I Don't Care)'.

Nothin' Down There But Tasmanian Devils And Them Q-Alla Bears?

We have received further proof that the popularity of C.W. McCall is worldwide. Chris Hill does a radio show in Adelaide, South Australia called 'Country-Roundup' and a segment of that show, 'Truck-Stop', is devoted to truck driving music.

And while perusing some Aussie sites, we came across singer/songwriter Annemiek Wilson. You can download samples of the songs from her CD 'Changes' (I like the one called 'Truck Stop'), and order the CD if you like.

If you're a trucker, check out the Driver's Quiz at Smart Trucks.

Definitely Not Go-Go Girls

And speaking of truckers, there's a song called 'Truckers' by Corky and the Juice Pigs, on their first album Corky and the Juice Pigs. You may have seen them on FOX's MADtv. Thanks to Rat, here are the lyrics; and the obvious reference to C.W. McCall is near the end of the song.

If anyone can find a copy of the album, let us know. Denon Canada has deleted both of the band's CDs from their catalog.

Elite Critters

A long time ago, on a television far, far away, a commercial was broadcast. Several of them, actually. And in those commercials we learned of the trucker C.W. McCall and his mission to deliver Old Home Bread. That's the history; but have you actually seen any of the commercials?

There is a possibility that we may be able to get a videotape copy of one of the original C.W. McCall commercials. That's just a possibility, mind you; the deal hasn't been sealed. But if we do get that tape, would you — the Crispy Critter, the C.W. McCall aficionado (that's Spanish for 'fanboy') — be interested in having your own copy? If you are, send a message to and we'll add you to the list. So far we've got 13 people who are interested.

The Catch: we're guessing that the tapes will cost about $5.00 each, which will include only the duplication and shipping; it won't cover the initial cost of acquiring the video itself, which is expected to be about $50 (but we'll work out that problem).

You don't need to hurry with your reply; we don't expect to have the tape for a month or two. But if you think that you'd like one, just send a message — any message — to

Critter Capades

Welcome to the newest Crispy Critter: Rick Brash of Calgary, Alberta, Great White North!

If you're a C.W. fan and you're not on the Big List A' Critters, drop us a line at and we'll add you to the list.

Song A’ Th’ Week

There are many mysteries in life: why does the Sun shine? Why is the sky blue? Why do politicians tell you that they've cut your taxes, but you seem to be paying more of them anyway? And more importantly, why do the claims of politicians always sound as if they're being blown out of where the Sun don't shine?

This song is a bit like "Classified", but slower.

I Don't Know (And I Don't Care)
(Chip Davis, Bill Fries)
From the album Roses For Mama

Now how many peppers did Peter Piper pick ta get himself a peck a' pickled peppers? But more importantly, how many pickles do you get in a peck, when you can't find no peppers ta pick? And furthermore, who wants a pickle that's made from a pepper by a guy named Peter Piper? And in conclusion, how many pipers do you know that pick pickles? And how many Peters are pickled?

[The chorus, and how to sing it. Pay attention, 'cause there might be a quiz. C.W. and the backup singers sing line 1, then C.W. alone sings lines 2 and 3, then the backup singers alone sing lines 4 and 5.]
Well, I don't know, and I don't care
Go away an' leave me alone
I don't know, and I don't care
He don't know, and he don't care
About nothin'

Now how many ducks could a duck plucker pluck, if'n the duck plucker plucked until dark? And more importantly, how many plucks would it take on a duck, 'til the plucker got duck plucker's arm? And furthermore, if the duck plucker died whilst pluckin' the duck, would you call it the fault of the duck? Or think now, would you say that the plucker had run out of ducks? And they called it "duck plucker's luck"?

[Chorus. See the instructions, above.]
Well, I don't know, and I don't care
Go away an' leave me alone
I don't know, and I don't care
He don't know, and he don't care
About nothin'

Now how much wood could a woodpecker peck, whilst Peter was a-pickin' them peppers? And what if the pluckor became the pluckee, and the woodpecker's name was Chuck?

[Chorus. Yeah, one more time.]
Well, I don't know, and I don't care
Go away an' leave me alone
I don't know, and I just don't care
He don't know, and he don't care
About nothin'

[C.W.] Boys got any idea how we gonna get outta this?

[Backup singers] We don't know.

[C.W.] Don't know, huh?

[Backup singers] We don't care.

[C.W.] Yeah, I know you don't care, neither.

[The music just sorta peters out.]

[C.W.] That's good.

The Legend-News is Copyright 2000 TechRen Enterprises. Happy New Millennium (that's two 'N's, thank you). Thanks to Bill Fries and Chip Davis for the words and music.