The Legend-News

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Friday, 2006 May 19 : Volume 9, Number 2

“All the filler that fits.”

In No Particular Order

…here are some items that crossed my desk in the past few weeks.

Randall Clague, a.k.a. “Snoopy”, was one of the intrepid trio that terrorized the Interstates in June 2000, during the macho-fest that was known as Convoy 2000. He’s an aeronautical kind of guy. Here are a couple of pictures from his day job.

Walter Pickett posted this message on the ConvoyTM Group on Yahoo! Groups:

I’m a big C.W. McCall fan and have been volunteering to do medical support for the local Women’s Roller Derby league.

I can hear you. what does Roller Derby have to do with Convoy and C.W McCall? Well, at the first bout of the season, one of the teams was introduced while the DJ played someone else’s version of Convoy. A few days later, I pulled out my albums and was listening to them when it occured to me that C.W. McCall had references in his songs to all three teams that make up the Tucson Roller Derby. So I'd like to introduce you to the three teams and C.W. references. “Look out below, ’cause here we go!”

The Furious Truckstop Waitresses (references to “Convoy”, “Old Home Filler-up An’ Keep On A-Truckin’ Café”, and “Audubon”): These waitresses are slinging hash and kicking ass as the Season One champs.

The Iron Curtain (a reference to “’Round The World With The Rubber Duck”): Forged after the disintegration of the USSR in the back rooms of Propaganda — Moscow’s infamous underground club — the women of the Iron Curtain vowed to restore the Union and conquer the world… on skates. Former KGB agents, military officers, cosmonauts, Olympic athletes, and genetically engineered super vixens, these ladies all had one thing in common — loyalty to the State and the desire to turn the Red Scare into a reality. If you thought the Cold War was over, think again… the Convoy had “to bash the wall” (the Berlin Wall), cross The Iron Curtain’s Motherland and has an encounter with “them Big Red Bears”.

The VICE Squad (a reference to “Lewis and Clark”): Police brutality never looked so good as when performed by the Season Two champs. Voted Crowd Favorite Team 2005!

Also in the ConvoyTM Group, Brad Donovan noticed that there’s a town in Ohio name “Convoy”. [I didn’t remember this, and I’ve driven past it on Old 30. — Ed.]

David Frederick sent congratulations to the now 105 members of the Convoy TM Group. If you want to talk about C.W., go there. David recently conducted a telephone interview with Bill Fries. And while you’re at Convoy: The Movie, try a Word Search puzzle based on the songs of C.W. McCall.

Anders Gaasedal has created a 1:13 scale model of the Rubber Duck’s tanker from the movie CONVOY… in LEGO! (Look in the “Trucks” section.)

Bob Swanson, the Assistant Weather Editor at USA TODAY, managed to get a mention of “Black Bear Road” into the weather blog in 2006. [Page not found on 2012-04-26. — Future Ed.]

Trucker Rod, the host of “Truckin’ Across The Heartland”, a show on Classic Heartland — a streaming audio show — tells us, with much delight, that on May 8, in the very early morning,

While recording my show tonight I was poking around on the net and I have found a Brand New!!, Never Played!!, Still in it's original sleeve!!!!! Vinyl....... Copy of.......... Woo Hoo, yes, we be happy........
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????KIDNAP AMERICA WOOOO HOOOOOOOO?????
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If anyone notices a shortage of question marks, please direct your concerns to Trucker Rod. Better yet, go listen to Classic Heartland and donate a few bucks to its operation.


Old Home Café: The Definitive Edition

You may recall that I’ve decided to rewrite the entire saga of the Old Home Café, such as it was. Well, I’m making progress, but what I really need to create is a great opening line for the first chapter.

So I’ve been doing a lot of reading, searching for inspiration, and I think that I’ve almost reached my goal. Here’s a list of first sentences that I’m considering for that all-important introduction.

Far out in the less-mapped counties of western Iowa lies a small, unregarded truck stop.

It was a dark, stormy day.

Call me Bubba.

It was the best of trucks, it was the worst of trucks.

This is the wettest story that I have ever heard.

It was a wrong GPS coordinate that started it.

This never happened, more or less.

He was an old trucker who hauled alone in an eighteen-wheeler.

Otis the town drunk was drunk.

It was the day my grandfather imploded.

It was love at first eyeball.

“Take my pickup, dear,” said Aunt Dotty.

Of all the things that drive men to trucking, the most common disaster, I’ve come to learn, is women.

Last night I dreamt I went to Kansas City again.

The Trucker (or so we’ll call him) was BS’ing an obscure matter to us.

If you have any suggestions for this Great American Novel, keep them to yourself. I wouldn’t want to be accused of plagiarism.


And Finally…

The official logotype of the C.W. McCall network, as of Thursday, May 18.

Logo of the CW, as of 2006-05-18

Not.


The Legend-News is published randomly by TechRen Enterprises, an overblown exaggeration. Copyright 2006 TechRen Enterprises, except for the stuff that we borrowed from elsewhere. Send complaints, kudos, suggestions, news and other contributions to legend-news@cw-mccall.com. “Only one human commander has ever survived battle with a Minbari fleet. He is behind me. You are in front of me. If you value your lives, be somewhere else.”