What We Got Here
- April Unfoolin’: Get a calendar.
- C.W. Sightings: He’s everywhere.
- A Radio Station That We’ll Mention This Week: KAPY 91.7.
- Rumors: Maybe it’s true, and maybe it ain’t.
- Old Home Café: “This is a job for…”
- Previously, in The Legend-News: ERTL Convoy Movie Truck.
I received a question about last week’s issue of The Legend-News, inquiring if that issue was an “April Fool’s” joke.
No, it was not a joke. I don’t subscribe to nonsensical holidays and their customs. On that note, if you’re reading this on the night of April 7, Happy Zombie Jesus Day!
Also, the date of the previous issue was clearly April 2. If I published an April Fool’s Day edition on the day after April 1, who would be the real fool?
I have recovered from my strenuous exertions, at least for this week. John, thank you for the “happy hippy healing vibes from Northern California”, and I took Tom’s suggestion (“I understand a cold beer lessens the pain. Two cold beers are even better.”). I recommend Magic Hat Number 9.
Recent mentions of C.W. McCall, courtesy of Skywalker:
- A death-defying situation on Wolf Creek Pass
- Good buddy, looks like we got us a NASCAR hauler convoy
- Top 10 Bizarre Music Genres (See Number 3)
Skywalker also mentions that he has for sale a “Where CW and Mavis Went On Their Date” movie pass. Contact him for details.
A Radio Station That We’ll Mention This Week
A record company that I can’t identify, in a country that I can’t mention, has expressed interest in releasing the original albums by C.W. McCall. But they’ll need to deal with Universal Music Group, so don’t get your hopes up too high.
Old Home Café
“This is a job for…”
Jon started the battle with a bad pun. “What does a duck have for lunch? Soup and quackers,” he said. Most of the lunchtime crowd of fourteen people ignored Jon, but he did hear a solitary “boo!” in response.
Avis quickly counter-attacked. “A bowl of soup and a sandwich walk into a bar,” she said. “And the bartender says ‘We don’t serve lunch here.’”
The reply from the diners in the Café was a low groan. Avis bowed, sweeping her right arm before her and acknowledging the joke’s reception. She turned to Jon; “Your turn,” she said.
Jon scratched his cheek, trying to think of another bad joke containing the word “soup”.
“Tick, tick, tick,” said Avis, tapping a foot. “Time’s a-wastin’.”
Jon raised a hand. “Got it!” he said. “How do you turn soup into gold? Add twenty-four carrots!”
Again, the crowd groaned.
“Mine!” said Avis. “I put instant soup in a microwave and almost went back in time.”
This time, the crowd laughed. Again, Avis bowed.
“Hey, that’s a Steven Wright joke!” said Jon. “Are we allowed to use professionally-made humor?” he asked, looking skeptical.
“Sure,” said Avis. “Whatever you can remember. C’mon, let’s hear another one.”
“Okay then, how about some Milton Berle?” said Jon. “Everything my wife cooks turns out tough. Anyone got a soup knife?”
The crowd laughed, and one customer applauded. “The older, the better!” he shouted. Avis glared at Jon; she didn’t like “wife jokes”.
Avis pondered her move. “This calls for a classic, I think,” she said. Then she paused, awaiting the attention of the room. In a few seconds the room was quiet, except for the low volume of the radio behind the counter. Avis inhaled, and said “‘Waiter, there’s a hair in my soup!’ ‘What kind of soup is it, sir?’ ‘Rabbit.’”
The punchline was met with dead silence, as the audience first absorbed the joke, then tripped over the pun. Then they exploded. Everyone laughed and applauded; two customers stood up to give Avis a standing ovation, while a couple of truckers at the counter banged their coffee mugs.
Jon looked over the room, and realized that a retreat was warranted. “I concede,” he said. “You may have won this round, short and blonde, but I will return!” Then he stared menacingly at Avis and walked into the back room, mumbling what sounded like “yassin sassin snazzum frazzum” or something like that.
Previously, in The Legend-News
Rob sent to us some pictures of the ERTL “CONVOY Movie Truck”. (From The Legend-News of 2003 October 20).
The Legend-News is published monthly by TechRen Enterprises, not your father’s Oldsmobile. Copyright 2012 TechRen Enterprises. Send subscription requests, unsubscribe demands, complaints, kudos, suggestions, news and other contributions to Legend-News@cw-mccall.com. Almost everything in The Legend-News has been written by Ed. Floden, except for the stuff that he blames on someone else. “It was easy.”