Super Slab Showdown
(C.W. McCall, Bill Fries, Chip Davis)

In the interest of scholarship, this song has been annotated to aid the reader by providing explanations of the idiomatic and slang terms that are used within it.

Me an’ Earl was workin’ the superslab¹ outside a’ that Ogallala?²
When outta town come a local clown³ in a ’65 Impala⁴
Had a ’coon tail⁵ flyin’ off a’ his whip antenna⁶

We was haulin’ a load a’ them go-go girls⁷
Truckin’ ’em over to O-town⁸
Old boy got on his microphone
Says "How’s about a little showdown⁹?"

Well, hot damn, I’m a gamblin’ man,¹⁰
So ev’rybody get yer bets down
’Cause this old truck gonna make us a buck
Chicken in the bread pan, pickin’ out vittles¹¹
Swing them heifers and away we go

Wake up, Earl, we gots to race that pile a’ junk¹² over ta North Platte¹³ city

Well, one-eyed bears¹⁴ and deuces wild
We got the back door pad-locked¹⁵
He says, "Bet five bucks and a side a’ beef,
"I can beat them cows ta Flat Rock¹⁶."

You hear that, Earl? He says he’s gonna whip Ol’ Bessie¹⁷ here!

I says, "Call your five and raise ya ten¹⁸
"Jes’ kiss that Chevy goodby, boy
"’Cause when Bessie hits that floatin’ gear¹⁹
"You gonna be eatin’ Hereford pie²⁰. Yeah."

Well, hot damn, I’m a gamblin’ man,
So ev’rybody get yer bets down
’Cause this old truck gonna make us a buck
She gonna round them curves at thirty gees²¹
A trunk full a’ cows²² an’ a hood full a’ bees²³

Move it up a notch²⁴, Earl.
Yeah, that’s it. That’s floatin’ gear! C’mon Bessie!

Well, tuck it on in and head it for the barn²⁵
If we don’t win, we gonna sell the farm²⁶

If this old wreck don’t break my neck,
We gonna take them cows to a discatheque²⁷

I says, "Come on, Earl, let’s give it a whirl.
"That Chevy is a-pickin’ up speed."
Well, we crossed the Platte²⁸ at a hundred flat²⁹
Old Bessie was a-blowin’ the weeds³⁰

We definitely was in that Monfort lane³¹.

Yeah, we won the race with a bovine ace³²
When the Chevy made a fatal pass
Yeah, he got too close
Got a terminal dose a’ that good ol’ Hereford gas³³.
Phew!³⁴

Hot damn, I’m a gamblin’ man,
So ev’rybody get yer bets down
’Cause this old truck’s gonna make us a buck
She’s rollin’ the boulevard shakedown³⁵

Hot damn, I’m a truckin’ man
And I sorta like ta put my foot down³⁶
This old rig gonna blow your wig³⁷
Got go-go girls and a Peterbilt cab
Gonna see ya all out on the superslab for a showdown

Notes

1. A roadway of the Interstate Highway System. In this specific case, Interstate 80.

2. A town in the state of Nebraska, about twenty-five miles east by northeast of the northeast corner of the state of Colorado.

3. A resident of the local area, behaving foolishly.

4. A product of the Chevrolet division of the General Motors Corporation.

5. Racoon.

6. A bourgois custom, typically associated with college students of the 1920s and 1930s.

7. Cows.

8. Omaha, Nebraska.

9. A challenge to the superiority of another. Often given by males who wish to dethrone the reigning chief of a tribe, and by those persons who feel inferior to the challenged party.

10. One who is enamored of wagering.

11. Usually, this is phrased as "chicken in the bread pan, pickin’ out dough".

12. A less-than-worthy vehicle. Typically said of a car which has not been properly maintained, its neglect evident by a poor external appearance.

13. About 50 miles east of Ogallala, give or take a few.

14. Police ("bears") equipped with radar guns ("one-eyed")

15. The vehicle in the lead has a commanding position, and vehicles which are following have little -- if any -- chance to overcome the leader.

16. North Platte, Nebraska. See the note 13. Thanks to Ryan Green for this information.

17. A term of endearment for the semi-tractor which Earl is driving.

18. The amount of the wager is raised.

19. The gear ratio at which the vehicle is travelling at its highest speed with the least effort.

20. A dish which is composed mainly of beef, baked into a pie crust. Often called "pot pie".

21. Acceleration at 30 times the normal force of gravity. This accomplishment is unrealistic; at that force, both occupants of the vehicle would lose consciousness. The boast is clearly designed to intimidate the challenger.

22. Actually, semi-trailer. Only passenger vehicles have storage areas called "trunks".

23. The frontal surfaces of the semi-tractor, covered by the carcasses of insects which have impacted upon them.

24. A numerically-higher gear, according to the numbering of the shift mechanism. The actual gear ratio is lower than the gear number that is numerically lower.

25. Keep the vehicle’s speed constant and concentrate on the terminus of the race.

26. This action may be necessary if the losing bettors are to acquire sufficient money with which to pay the winner.

27. Correctly, "discotheque". A venue for dancing, usually to the accompaniment of music having exceptionally repetitive measures and, if present, lyrics which refer to acts of sexual intercourse.

28. The Platte River. Interstate 80 crosses the Platte River at a point that is approximately five miles southeast of the city of North Platte.

29. One hundred miles per hour, or approximately 161 kilometers per hour.

30. The slipstream created by the motion of the semi-tractor/trailer combination was causing a wind to bend the stalks of the wild plants which grew alongside the roadway.

31. The left, or passing, lane. So-called because of the legend that drivers for the Monfort meat packing company of New Jersey used that lane as their exclusive position, enabling them to constantly pass by the slower-moving vehicles in the lanes to the right.

32. An advantage given to the semi-tractor/trailer by virtue of the presence of the cows that it was transporting.

33. Methanous flatulance expressed by the cows being transported.

34. An exclamation of disgust at the olfactorally-offensive nature of the odors caused by the methanous flatulance of the cows.

35. The process of relieving a person of his/her money through extortion, or less often the winning of a wager by a victor whose superior skill or prowess is not readily apparent to the other parties involved in the wager.

36. To cause a vehicle’s speed to increase, usually beyond the limit posted by the local regulatory agencies.

37. Similar to note 30, above. This action refers to the abrupt removal of a false hairpiece due to an unexpected gust of wind caused by the rapid forward motion of the vehicle.

"Super Slab Showdown" does not appear on any C.W. McCall audio CD.